Lesson 13: Choose How You Respond

Good morning,

In this week’s reflection, I’d like to share a lesson from one of the greatest thinkers of ancient Greece: Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher whose words continue to resonate in today’s fast-paced world. His informal lectures were written down by his pupil Arrian around 108 AD and are available in the “Discourses of Epictetus” here. His teaching on control can be helpful to us.

Epictetus said: “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”

While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we react. In our daily lives, we may find ourselves overwhelmed by forces that seem to be beyond our control.

Here are three ways to apply this timeless lesson today:

1. Embrace What You Can Control

Rather than getting caught up in what’s outside your sphere of influence, focus on the actions and attitudes you can control. For example:

• If your work schedule is hectic, decide how to prioritize tasks and set boundaries to protect your time.
• If you’re facing an unexpected challenge, focus on how to adapt and learn from the situation rather than stressing over the uncontrollable aspects.

2. Focus on Your Own Standards

Why be swayed by others’ opinions or external judgments? To stay grounded:

• Set your own goals and define your success based on what truly matters, not on what others think or expect.
• Trust your judgment when making decisions; this helps you build confidence and clarity.

3. Stay Composed in Difficult Situations

In moments of stress, it’s easy to let external chaos affect your state of mind. Instead of letting frustration take over:

• Take a step back, breathe, and assess the situation logically. Ask yourself, “What can I control here?”
• By focusing on finding practical solutions instead of reacting emotionally, you maintain better control over your responses and avoid unnecessary stress.

A reminder for both you and me: while we can’t control everything around us, we have the power to control how we respond, which in turn shapes the outcomes in our lives.

All the best!
Alex Rășcanu

P.S. I’m facilitating a few upcoming #ExperienceTO historical tours: Baby Point, Dufferin Grove, and Swansea. Join us if you can.